


The Unknowing

by advanced_fanatic



Series: Bungou Stray Archives [14]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: ...sort of, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Angst, Attempted Murder, Blood and Gore, But they don't know that, Character Death, End of the World, Explosions, Explosives, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Murder, Murder-Suicide, Revenge, Self-Sacrifice, Siblings, The Buried (The Magnus Archives) - Freeform, The Unknowing (The Magnus Archives), did i mention the death, lotsss of character death, not really - Freeform, ohhhh boy this is a Lot, second to last fic folks, there is a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26580802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/advanced_fanatic/pseuds/advanced_fanatic
Summary: The end of the world is coming, and different people have different reasons for stopping it.
Relationships: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Izumi Kyouka & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Nakahara Chuuya & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka & Lucy Maud Montgomery & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka & Lucy Maud Montgomery (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka & Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Lucy Maud Montgomery & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi & Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tachihara Michizou & Tachihara Michizou's Brother (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Junichirou & Tanizaki Naomi
Series: Bungou Stray Archives [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740364
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	The Unknowing

It was funny, how fast things could fall apart. After Yosano had visited the wilderness club, blood streaking her arms and blouse, bones strung around her neck, Tachihara had turned on Lucy and the Toy Soldier, screaming about murder and loyalty and friendship. Lucy had given as good as she got, shouting back about their duty and mercy killings, while the Toy Soldier repeated that they had  _ needed _ his skin, they had  _ needed _ it, as if it were an excuse and an absolution all in one.

Atsushi considered that maybe Yosano had been right when she’d taunted that the Toy Soldier was just Lucy’s toy, with no real agency of its own other than what she expected it to have. And then Tachihara lunged for the Toy Soldier’s throat, wielding a can of hairspray and a lighter in a homemade flamethrower, and Atsushi tackled him to the ground to stop him from sending the Stranger avatar up in flames.

“He killed Kunikida!” shrieked Tachihara. “He doesn’t regret it--he doesn’t care--Yosano said that he was never human at all!”

The Toy Soldier flinched.

“Yosano was also wearing a necklace made out of human bones,” Atsushi replied. “I don’t exactly associate that with trustworthiness. Besides, they’re  _ Stranger _ avatars. What else would they have done with Kunikida?”

“You’re not upset?!” Tachihara yelled. “Kunikida is  _ dead _ !”

“Of course I’m upset!” Atsushi shouted back. “But killing them isn’t going to do anything about it, and besides, we don’t  _ actually _ try to kill each other in wilderness club!”

“They killed Kunikida and they don’t regret it!”

“None of us regret it when we kill people!” Atsushi shouted back. “That’s the life of an avatar! Kill or be killed, feed your patron or it will feed  _ on you _ ! They didn’t have any other choice!”

“There’s always a choice!” Tachihara yelled back, still struggling. Atsushi pinned his wrists to the ground.

“Only for humans!” Lucy shrieked back. “Once you’re an avatar, your choice is to make the ritual and feed your patron, or  _ die _ !”

“Then you should have died, rather than  _ kill _ anyone!” Tachihara yelled.

“Do you even understand what we  _ are _ ?!” Lucy yelled. “We are alive right now--we are  _ here _ right now-- _ because we chose to kill and cause fear and pain rather than to die _ ! If we hadn’t--if we’d chosen to remain good humans--your brother and Anne would have died within minutes of encountering the circus! Atsushi would have starved to death at four years old! Kyouka would have been murdered! Akutagawa and Gin would have starved on the streets! Just because  _ you’re _ still human, doesn’t mean you get to judge us for things you couldn’t  _ possibly _ understand!”

“Bullshit!” shouted Tachihara, writhing under Atsushi’s arms.

Atsushi looked over at Lucy and the Toy Soldier. “You guys go on ahead,” he said. “Kyouka and I will sort him out, and catch up after.”

Lucy nodded, reaching down and ruffling his hair. “For what it’s worth,” she said, “I am sorry that I took a member of your pack from you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Atsushi smiled sadly up at her. “I don’t want to hurt you either.”

Neither of them said they wouldn’t hurt the other, and neither of them believed they would survive this unscathed.

Lucy grabbed the Toy Soldier by his elbow and dragged him away. Akutagawa stayed.

“You can go, too,” Atsushi said. “You don’t have to be involved.”

Akutagawa grinned with all his teeth. “Why would I? Disrupting rituals is  _ fun, _ and now there’s no Archivist to keep me out.”

“Exactly,” said Atsushi. “Tachihara’s made it  _ personal _ .”

“That could go over well, though,” Kyouka said, waving the lighter. “He’s got all the makings of a  _ great _ Desolation avatar.”

“You’re right,” Atsushi said. “I mean, going after your own brother like that?  _ What _ a way to burn bridges.”

“I’m not going to become a fucking avatar,” snarled Tachihara.

“Ok,” said Atsushi. “I was just saying--you made the whole thing personal. The thing about being avatars is that sometimes, we  _ can’t  _ control it, be it the influence of our patrons or the Web or the End or whatever, and the fact that Yosano was there makes it pretty clear that the End wanted Kunikida gone. She could have destroyed the entire Circus if they hadn’t gone along with it.”

“But they did, which means they’re going to try the Unknowing while the skin is still fresh,” Akutagawa said. “Odds are, Lucy and the Toy Soldier are going over plans for it right now.”

“Why aren’t we listening in, then?” asked Tachihara, who had given up on getting away and was resting his head on the soft fur of Atsushi’s arm.

“That would be a  _ serious _ breach of trust,” Atsushi told him, starting to groom him. 

Tachihara squawked and started wriggling away. “What are you doing?!”

Kyouka giggled. “He’s grooming you, to help you calm down. He is a big cat, you know.”

“He’s licking my hair!”

“I can stop if you want,” Atsushi said.

“Yes,  _ please do _ ,” Tachihara said. “Also please get off of me, I swear I won’t run away.”

Atsushi did so, padding over to Kyouka and resting his head in her lap. She immediately started petting him.

“Right, so is anyone else going to want to help us stop the Unknowing?” Kyouka asked.

“I can talk to Oda’s kids,” Atsushi suggested. “We hate each other, but I’m pretty sure we can put aside our differences for this. After all, it does technically count as protecting Dazai.”

“Higuchi, Gin, and Hirotsu,” added Akutagawa. “Gin’s part of wilderness club, Hirotsu works with Gin--and you, occasionally, Tachihara--and Higuchi’s, uh. She’s loyal.”

“She does whatever you tell her to, is extremely brutal, and also can use her worms to spy for us, you mean,” Kyouka said.

“She’s also got a good sense of humor,” Akutagawa protested weakly.

“No, you just like to laugh at her,” Atsushi said. “The one time she actually made a joke around you you almost killed her.”

“Semantics,” Akutagawa huffed. “The  _ point _ is, she’d probably work well with us. So we would have Slaughter, Hunt, Corruption, maybe a little Eye, and  _ possibly _ Desolation, if we can contact Chuuya.”

“Tachihara, you know Chuuya personally, right?” asked Atsushi.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Why don’t you track him and Gin and Hirotsu down and explain our situation to them, while the rest of us finish up wilderness club? We can meet up after, I’ll text you.”

“You’re going back, after what they did to Kunikida?!” Tachihara shouted. “Are you  _ insane _ ?!”

“They’re our  _ friends _ ,” Atsushi said. “Besides, all of us have rituals. Even you, if you stay with the Institute, will have a ritual. We can’t just kill each other because we have different rituals, that’d be ridiculous. We’re part of wilderness club, and our loyalty to each other is just below our loyalty to our patrons.”

“So, what, wilderness club is your pack, then?” asked Tachihara. “Because when we were fighting those other Hunters, they called you a ‘feral tiger without a pack’, and said that we were a poor substitute for one, but they were wrong, weren’t they? The  _ wilderness club _ is your pack, and Dazai, and so that’s all you care about! They could kill Kunikida or anyone else a million times over, and as long as nobody in the wilderness club was affected, and Dazai was safe, you wouldn’t care! And you don’t care about who anyone else in the wilderness club used to be, either, just whatever monsters they’ve become! And for what it’s worth, nobody else in the wilderness club feels like that about you. You’re a Hunter, so you claimed them as your pack--but they’re Slaughter and Stranger avatars, they’ll never love you back even in the pathetic way you do, let alone the way humans love!”

Atsushi flinched back, his eyes wide, as if he’d been hit. His tail lashed out behind him, and he distantly realized that over the course of the conversation he had transformed fully into the tiger.

“That isn’t true,” snarled Kyouka, drawing her knife. “Atsushi is my brother. I love him more than anyone else in this world. Take it back!”

“He doesn’t care that our boss--that our  _ friend _ just  _ died _ ! I think that kind of merits my statement!” Tachihara shouted back.

Demon Snow appeared over Kyouka’s shoulder, advancing on Tachihara.

“Get out,” she hissed.

“Fine,” Tachihara spat. “And I’ll find Gin and Hirotsu and Chuuya. But I’m right, you know. You don’t want to see it, but I’m right!” He turned on his heel and stalked away.

“Asshole,” muttered Akutagawa, scratching Atsushi under his chin. “Just because we’re wilderness club doesn’t make us  _ weird _ like that.”

“Yeah. We’re capable of love. It doesn’t matter what he says. He’s  _ human _ , he has  _ no idea _ what we are and what we’re capable of.” Kyouka sheathed her knife, Demon Snow flickering out of existence. “Come on. We’ve kept Lucy and the Toy Soldier waiting for long enough.”

Atsushi stayed in tiger form, his head under Kyouka’s hand, as they approached. He had already known that he didn’t care about the fates of anyone outside of the wilderness club, with the major exception of Dazai. But that was just because they had nothing to do with him, right? The rest of the world hadn’t helped him when he was beaten bloody and chained up in the orphanage. The rest of the world hadn’t helped him when he was starving on the streets, Hunting stray animals to survive and becoming more and more animalistic every day. The rest of the world hadn’t protected Kyouka after the deaths of her parents--they were going to kill her in retribution for a crime that didn’t have any connection to them. The rest of the world didn’t help Dazai when Mori took him to Sannikov Land and fed him to the Distortion, and they didn’t care when he was replaced, and now he was incapable of taking care of himself and the rest of the world refused to even admit it was him, so he didn’t get  _ any _ help outside of what Oda, Atsushi and Kyouka, and Oda’s children were able to give. The rest of the world didn’t care when Lucy was chased out of a department store by an aspiring artist. They didn’t care that Akutagawa was able to get rid of hundreds of criminals, technically raising everyone’s quality of life--they sued him anyway. They didn’t care about  _ any _ of them--why should Atsushi care about  _ them _ outside of whichever ones would be fun to Hunt? Why was Tachihara upset that he didn’t really care about anyone outside of wilderness club? What people outside of wilderness club  _ should _ Atsushi care about? He could vaguely remember, when he was snuggling Dazai, actually worrying about Oda’s kids, and if they were ok, but wasn’t he just feeling charitable because he was with Dazai and technically, Dazai was part of their pack? Had the Hunt really cut out his ability to care about other people, or had Atsushi always been like this? Was there something wrong with him?

“Where’s Michizou?” asked the Toy Soldier.

“He was rude to the weretiger, so I had Gin take him out on a walk to go calm down,” Akutagawa said. “The odds of him returning  _ anytime _ soon are really fucking low.”

“She won’t hurt him, right?” asked the Toy Soldier.

“She won’t, but if he comes near us without getting his head screwed on, Kyouka and I  _ will _ .”

Lucy huffed. “See, this is why I don’t associate with humans. They all suck!”

“You associated with Tachihara,” Atsushi pointed out.

“Archival Assistants are always at least 50% not human, though,” Lucy said. “Plus, his skin is  _ nice _ . I would totally wear it to, like, a roller derby or something--I would look cute as  _ heck _ .”

“He really does,” said the Toy Soldier. “I think he wears it best though.”

Lucy shrugged. “He’s being a dick today. Dicks lose their skin privileges.”

The Toy Soldier sighed. “Maybe we could give him a pass? Since he’s human, and he’s had a hard day. He just found out that his Archivist died, after all.”

Lucy huffed. “Fine, but only because you’re attached to him. He  _ doesn’t _ get a second chance, understand?”

“Yes, mistress,” said the Toy Soldier. “Thank you for giving him this chance.”

“Right!” Lucy clapped her hands. “Shall we begin, then?”

Kyouka went for her throat almost before she’d finished getting the words out.

  
  
  


After wilderness club, Atsushi refused a ride to Moorland House. Instead, he transformed fully into the tiger, mind and all, and let himself just  _ run _ . 

As a tiger, he wasn’t susceptible to the Lonely anymore because he didn’t have to worry about Tachihara’s words. He simply trusted in wilderness club and in his need to Hunt down the other Hunters, because they needed as many allies as possible. The fog didn’t burn away at him. As the tiger, there wasn’t enough of Atsushi to burn away.

He pounded past a man lying on the ground, completely shrouded in fog, before turning and nosing him to investigate.

“Leave me here to die,” the man said.

“Ok,” Atsushi replied, becoming just human enough to respond. “I’m late to visit my brother Dazai anyway--we killed and rescued him from the Distortion a couple weeks ago.”

“You’re lying,” said the man.

“Nope,” Atsushi said, and continued to Moorland House.

He turned mostly human again and immediately felt the Lonely hit him like a truck-- _ your pack doesn’t love you, they don’t want you, they don’t need you _ \--but he focused on climbing through the window. Everything was foggy, but Dazai was clear, reading the introduction of a book on memory. Atsushi wasn’t here to visit him now, no matter what he’d said to the man in the Lonely, but the fog was still weaving around him, so he curled against Dazai, who smiled at him. Dazai had never smiled so much before. He had always been thinking, planning, trying to stay one step ahead of the Entities and Mori and everything else. He was happier now, at least. Atsushi didn’t know if it was because he thought he had a plan or, since Mori wasn’t exactly able to get to Moorland House due to the combination of the Lonely and six Hunters guarding it, he had forgotten about the existence of Mori and the Entities altogether. Seeing as a lot of the time he didn’t recognize Atsushi or Kyouka or Oda, Atsushi thought that was a pretty safe bet.

After his brother’s presence had pushed the fog out of him, Atsushi kissed Dazai’s cheek and went to find the other Hunters.

They were chasing down some girl trapped in the Lonely, and Atsushi watched until Kousuke noticed him and jogged over, humanity taking over just enough that he could speak.

“We can’t fight right now, we’re busy,” he said.

“I’m not here for that,” Atsushi replied. “The Unknowing is coming soon--probably within the next couple of weeks--and they killed our Archivist. I’m here to ask if you’d ally yourself with wilderness club and Hirotsu Ryuurou to stop it.”

“What’s in it for us?” asked Kousuke.

“You mean  _ besides _ the continued existence and safety of Moorland House and its residents? Um, I think I found Sakaguchi Ango on my way over here. I can travel through the Lonely as a tiger and I kind of just tripped over him.”

Kousuke glanced over at the rest of his pack before turning back to Atsushi.

“Deal.”

They physically hauled Sakaguchi back to Moorland House. He was practically catatonic, and touching him nearly threw Atsushi completely into the Lonely, to the five Hunters’ endless amusement. They left him on the kitchen table with a blanket tossed haphazardly over him before commandeering a car that had once belonged to some poor sacrifice to the Lonely and driving to one of the entrances to the tunnels under the Institute that  _ didn’t _ stem from the Institute. They were the last ones to arrive, which was good, because he was fairly certain that if they’d gotten here earlier, Tachihara would have gotten stabbed at least once, and he was human and therefore fragile, if apt to get stabbed. Honestly, Atsushi had never met anyone who seemed to be  _ asking _ to be stabbed as much as Tachihara Michizou did.

Glancing around the room, Atsushi could see all the non-Stranger members of wilderness club, Hirotsu, Chuuya, and--surprisingly--the Tanizaki siblings, perched on the Web-table.

“So,” Kyouka said. “The Unknowing. From what we’ve managed to gather, it’s occurring in the Greater Yarmouth Wax Museum. According to the Statements Tachihara and I looked through, it’s usually at least slightly dependant on a type of skin--they usually use the oldest skin in the world, but Tachihara took it and used it to make a voodoo doll of Lucy four years ago, and then set it on fire, which is why they took Kunikida’s skin--both in retribution and because they genuinely needed a skin. Past Unknowings have been disrupted by what appears to be large explosions--someone who looks like a Slaughter version of the Toy Soldier blasted the last one apart. Sadly, we don’t have cannons, and none of our powers are explosion related.”

“Technically, I’m explosion related,” Chuuya said, waving one smoking hand in the air.

“You set things on fire, you can’t blow them up,” Kyouka replied. 

“Also, we need fail-safes,” Kousuke said. “I’m pretty sure and Archivist’s skin is going to be better at warding you guys off than a gorilla skin--there’s the emotional attachment and also the connection to the Eye.”

“I can get bombs from the police station,” Akutagawa said. “There’s an illegal arms dealer I’ve been stringing along for months--if I arrest him, I can get his bombs for us.”

“How soon?” asked Kousuke.

“Seven hours at the most.”

“Great,” Chuuya said. “So Akutagawa gets those bombs, the rest of us get what bombs we can find, we set ‘em up in the wax museum, and we get out. Once things start going wonky, we blow it to hell. I’m pretty sure this plan has a bunch of holes in it, but we’re not  _ Dazai _ . We should be fine.”

“We would need a lot of different detonators to set them all off, though,” said Tachihara.

“I can set things on fire from far off, don’t worry,” Chuuya replied.

“How?”

The Desolation avatar whipped out a violin from who knows where and started playing  _ The Devil Went Down To Georgia _ . Within a few minutes the Web table was up in flames, the Tanizakis cursing and scrambling off of it.

“Thanks,” huffed Tanizaki. “I’ve been tied to that thing for  _ ages _ .”

“Why are you still alive?” asked Chuuya.

“The table was limiting my power, actually. I was tied to it in an effort by Fukuchi to keep me from replacing as many people.”

“God fucking dammit,” said Chuuya. “How  _ can _ I kill you, then?”

“I don’t know? And if I did why would I tell you? Why do you want to kill me, anyway?”

“You fucking killed shitty Dazai, bitchface! Also, aren’t you an extension of the Stranger? Why the fuck are you here, anyway?!”

“That’s actually a really good question.” Tanizaki paused for a moment. “I mean, I guess ‘cause I was invited? I don’t really want another Entity to get their ritual off before we get ours, so...yeah. Here to help.”

“Do...do you know what ritual we’re planning on stopping...?” Atsushi asked.

“The Unknowing, apparently,” said Tanizaki. “Didn’t think we’d get another Spiral ritual so soon, what with Dazai becoming the Distortion and dying and all, but that’s life, I guess.”

“He’s fucking dead because you fucking murdered him!” shouted Chuuya.

“The Unknowing is the  _ Stranger’s _ ritual!” yelled Tachihara.

“Oh.” Tanizaki paused for a moment. “I feel like I should do something to stop you guys from blowing it up, then.”

“Absolutely not, brother!” Naomi scolded. “Remember, we said we  _ wouldn’t _ remake the world, because then we would be separated again?”

“No, no, I know, I know, it’s just...instinct? I guess? I don’t know.” He paused. “Actually, you might want to seal me away for a little bit.”

“Oh,  _ gladly _ ,” snarled Chuuya. “After what you did to Dazai, I’ll tear you apart with my  _ bare hands _ .”

“Wait,” said Sakura, “ _ he’s _ the one who did that to Dazai?”

“Oh no,” said Tanizaki.

“Yeah,” Chuuya snarled, hands tightening around his violin.

“Wait, stop--” shouted Atsushi, but it was too late--the five Hunters were tearing into Tanizaki as one, and when Naomi tried to step in, one of them--Shinji, maybe? Or Yuu?--leapt at her and tore out her throat, blood spraying over the walls.

“Yes!” shouted Chuuya, playing what sounded like Mozart For The Mind on his violin and burning the remains. The Hunters only stopped with all that remained of the siblings were little piles of charred gore.

Tachihara leaned over into an adjacent tunnel and vomited.

“You know,” said Tachihara, staring at the hotel room, “I have no idea how we’re going to get all that into the wax museum.”

“Perseverance,” Atsushi replied. “Also, maybe we could sic Chuuya on them, set up some sort of distraction? I mean, he’s known to have a grudge against the Stranger about as big as yours--it would probably provide enough of a distraction that we could clear the beds off, at least.”

“We need to clear a path to the beds first, though,” Kyouka pointed out.

“Right…” 

The three former Assistants looked at the hotel room. Every available surface was covered in explosions. They were on the bed, the desk, in the closet. They were stacked in the bathroom, inside of the bathtub and on top of the toilet and on the counter and in the sink. 

The most concerning factor, though, was the fact that they had still more explosives in the car. Miyazawa Kenji had had a  _ huge _ inventory. It was honestly kind of concerning.

“Maybe if we’re just  _ really _ quiet…”

“Oh, I know!” said Kyouka. “Chuuya does his fire thing, and  _ you _ go apologize to the Toy Soldier! That’ll distract it enough that we can sneak in enough explosives that we’ll be able to exist in this room, and then we bring in the rest tomorrow.”

Tachihara groaned. “Do I  _ have _ to? It--it isn’t--it  _ killed _ Kunikida, guys, my brother would never have done that!”

“Your brother who was on a fast track to becoming an avatar of the Slaughter?” asked Kyouka.

“...So do we want to go now, or…”

Atsushi snickered.

They watched as Tachihara made his way into the wax museum. A few minutes later, Chuuya stomped in from the other side, playing Hellfire by a band called the Mechanisms on his violin and setting things, of course, on fire.

“Which one of you fuckers worked with the NotThem?!” he howled. “You motherfuckers replaced a fucking asshole! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

The rest snuck into the museum, all the Circus members either dealing with Chuuya or spying on Tachihara, and managed to offload a good number of bombs. By the time Tachihara came back, they were sitting in the (finally mostly empty) hotel room watching animated Disney films. Tachihara groaned and lay facedown on the floor.

“It thought it was still my brother,” he said. “I hate my entire fucking life.”

Chuuya did not get back that night, but when the day of the Unknowing dawned, bright and firmly rooted in reality, he was leaning against the car, tossing a tape recorder in the air.

“I got the Archivist’s last words,” he said. “Apparently, he made a Statement before they skinned him...or got a Statement, it’s really unclear. Anyway, it’s on here...also, apparently, Dazai’s not dead. Would’ve been nice to know before I sicced the kiddos on the NotThem, but really I’m glad it’s gone. We can bring the tape to Dazai once we’ve blown them all to hell. Weird that he didn’t get involved with planning this. Or was he and you just didn’t mention it to me?”

“He wasn’t,” Atsushi said, grabbing the tape. “He...he  _ can’t _ , not anymore. The Distortion, it...it took his mind. He’s not much there, anymore. I think showing the tape to him would do more harm than good, honestly, especially if Kunikida dies in it.”

Chuuya frowned. “Fuck. It took his  _ mind _ ?”

“Pretty much,” said Kousuke. “At first, he was still aware of the Entities and some of their plans, but that faded pretty quickly. Now...it would be a toss-up to say whether he’ll remember all of  _ us _ when we get back.”

“Motherfuck,” said Chuuya. “Fuck, that fucker was my fucking friend, sort of. Not really. I hate his fucking guts. But still.  _ Motherfuck _ .”

“Yeah,” said Tachihara.

“Let’s go,” said Atsushi, who didn’t like thinking about everything Dazai had lost through the Distortion.

The Toy Soldier knew why Michizou was there. It knew he had not come to apologize for yelling at it. It was literally a manifestation of something not being what it said it was. It could tell when people were lying to it.

Its mistress never lied to it. Lucy was of the distinct opinion that lies were for the Spiral and the Web, neither of which it got on with on a personal level. It had been fine with Dazai when he was the Distortion, apparently, but that amicability hadn’t stretched to the rest of the Entity and now that the Distortion was gone, Lucy hated the entire thing. But Michizou had lied. The Toy Soldier could tell he wanted to believe what he was saying, but he blamed it for the death of his Archivist.

One of the first things Lucy had taught the Toy Soldier was the bond between the Archivist and his Assistants. The Assistants were usually loyal to their Archivist, unless the Archivist actively pushed them away or the Head of the Institute meddled enough that that trust was washed away. An Archival Assistant was not quite an avatar, but it was tied to the Archives and the Eye and the Archivist, like little human minions. As humans, they were useful in drawing the attention of other avatars; they could move between worlds like an amphibian without truly falling into this one. And of course, an Assistant would always hate the thing that killed their Archivist.

But without an Archivist, the Assistants were little more than regular humans. And regular humans could always become part of the Circus.

The Toy Soldier didn’t tell Lucy about the bombs. It didn’t want its mistress to be angry at its brother before he joined the Circus. But Lucy agreed that during the Unknowing, the Toy Soldier could grab Michizou and they could make him join the Circus. It was very excited. Soon, its brother wouldn’t hate it anymore. Soon, it would be able to be with its brother again, once they remade the world.

It waited near the stage. Lucy had wanted it to be part of the main act, but it had agreed to let it wait until it got its brother. Its mistress was so good to it. It really didn’t deserve Lucy.

And the music started up, and Lucy donned the Archivist’s skin, and everything was nothing and nothing was everything and everything was everything and it was  _ glorious _ .

_ There were colors that were not colors, feelings and emotions and everything and she didn’t know--she didn’t know--she didn’t know-- _

_ There had been someone with her, clutching her hand, keeping her grounded. There was a flash of something that once was called red light (she did not remember what it was called) and the someone she trusted looked, and she did not, and then he was gone and she was alone. She had to find him. She had to protect him. There were two men--they were Enemies--if she killed him he would come back. _

_ Had there ever been a person with her? _

_ What was a person? _

_ Was she a person? _

_ It didn’t matter. Whether or not she was a person, whether or not she’d ever had someone with her, those Enemies were the reason she did not have him now. She stabbed one through the throat, screaming incoherently-- _

_ Was there any way for her to scream coherently? What was coherence, really? _

_ She didn’t care. There was music in her veins and hatred in her heart--the person that was not a person that wasn’t with her was never with her hated being alone, and so she must kill these enemies to find him. _

_ There was a big wooden thing, and it called to her. It wanted her to come. One of the enemies was lying dead, draped over it, and the box was calling to her. Her person must be in there. _

_ She descended in, and the lid snapped over her head. _

_ He was alone, he was alonealonealonealone, and had he even not been alone? He thought there had once been a group-wilderness club-pack-family, but when he tried to examine the words, they slipped away, existing only in their absence. He jumped at the lights, but they left him, slipping away. A hand (was it a hand? What was a hand?) landed in his fur on the scruff of his neck. _

_ “Atsushi,” a voice said. _

_ What was Atsushi? Was he Atsushi? _

_ “You’re Atsushi, yes. You’re my friend. I’m so happy you came to see my show!” _

_ Friend? Was that like group-wilderness club-pack-family? Was he not alone anymore? _

_ “Yes. I’m part of wilderness club.” The voice paused. “I...I guess we are family! That’s great! That makes it even better that you came to my show--we can be together when the world is remade!” _

_ World...remade? Was that good? It didn’t sound good… _

_ “Of course it’s a good thing, Atsushi! Which is why you have to give me the detonator.” _

_ The what? _

_ “The detonator. It’s in your hand, Atsushi. You have those, hands. Don’t you trust me?” _

_ He did, he did trust her, his pack-mate, his family. He located a hand and held it out to her, and she took it and held him in a plastic embrace.  _

_ “Good job, Atsushi! Come on, let’s go find the Toy Soldier--we have things to do.” _

_ He stayed next to her as they weaved through the dancing lights, and she didn’t leave. _

_ The song of the Slaughter danced through their veins. They were two, always two, together in the song of the Slaughter. And they had enemies to fight, always, these two, one with her knives, one with his coat. And now they were just two, swirling, fighting through the song of the Slaughter. And she took her knives, and gouged out his throat, as his coat wrapped around her in a deadly embrace, and they collapsed, still together, wrapped in the song of the Slaughter. _

_ “You are in a place,” he whispered. “You are in a place, which means that there is another place, and if you keep walking, you will get somewhere else.” His throat was hoarse with the repetitions. He had had four others, once, a pack, but now they were gone. They had peeled away and he hadn’t been able to follow, but he had kept whispering to himself and whispering to himself, because that was all he had. He was in a place. If one place existed, others did too. He just had to keep moving. He just had to get to another place. That was all. That was all. _

_ It was trying to take his fucking skin. _

_ It said, “I’m your brother,” it said, “this is for the best,” it said, “we can be together,” it said, “you won’t hate me anymore,” it said. _

_ So he hated it. This was good information. What he hated, he destroyed. All he had to do was destroy this thing that claimed to be his brother. _

_ Why did it think he would believe it? Had he ever had a brother?--Yes, he had, he had watched him die. What a disgusting creature, pretending to be his dead brother! _

_ “Toy Soldier!” a voice called. The voice belonged to a tall man with long blonde hair, although it sounded like a girl’s voice. “Toy Soldier, we have a problem! Bombs! Did you know?!” _

_ The man--he looked somehow familiar, but  _ wrong _ \--waved a plastic device in the air. _

_ “I--mistress, I--er--surely it's not that big of an issue!” The Toy Soldier--the thing that was trying to take his skin and pretended it was his brother--cried. _

_ “Of course it is! Atsushi had this, he could have blown everything up!” The man ruffled the air of a slightly younger man standing next to him. “That would have destroyed everything!” _

_ Destroy...everything? _

_ “I’m sorry, mistress,” said the Toy Soldier. “I didn’t think…” _

_ “No, you never do,” the blonde man sighed. “Seriously, literally everyone I know is an idiot! ...Don’t worry, Atsushi, I love you anyway.” _

_ The man--Atsushi’s--face lit up, and the blonde man smiled back at him, in a way that was clearly designed to show the Toy Soldier that it did  _ **_not_ ** _ have this sort of favor. Atsushi didn’t seem to be aware of this, leaning into the blonde man’s hand. _

_ Perfect, everyone was distracted. _

_ He leapt at the man and snatched the detonator, pressing the button. _

_ “No!” shouted the Toy Soldier. _

_ The blonde man screamed in anger, suddenly appearing to be a redheaded girl and tackling the white-haired man--Atsushi--to the ground, shielding him with its body. _

_ And then there was hot cutting pain, and then--no more. _

**Author's Note:**

> Mozart For The Mind makes me go full Slaughter, all of the time. My mom played it while I did my math homework and now I just have to hear it to be filled with intense anger, frustration, and bloodlust.


End file.
